Relations With a Lesbian (Not What You Are Thinking!)

Writer and mother Cherrie Moraga recounts her feelings and emotions during her experience of raising another woman’s son in their lesbian relationship. Moraga was a stepmother to her partner’s toddler Joel. She questioned her ability to be a mother because she is a lesbian. When I read a portion of her book where she talks about her relationship with Joel, I found that I understood to a certain extent what she was going through even though I am not a lesbian. Her situation and mine are not all that different. The closeness she gradually began to feel for Joel, the sweet memories she has of her encounters with him, and the hurt she felt when he was taken from her are all things that I have experienced. Like Moraga, who had no biological children at the time that Joel was in her life, I also have no biological children. Until about 3 years ago, I never thought much about having children. I always questioned my capability to be a good mother and to be responsible for every aspect of another person’s life. I assumed one day I would because that is just what a woman is supposed to do. Moraga assumed she wouldn’t because that is not what a lesbian is supposed to do. We both had our assumptions about what a woman’s life is supposed to be like. I suggest stepmothers read more about her story. It is an interesting tale that exposes the doubts, fears, longings, and joys of suddenly becoming a mother to a child you did not birth and developing urges to have one of your own.